You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J says. At that moment readying for her comeback record in eight years, deeply enamored with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mother of a toddler after struggling to conceive for a decade, on top of the world. Suddenly in spring she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The musician, birth name J. Cornish, is known for being brutally honest. The record, her latest release, was supposed to be an transparent story, tackling every ounce of devastation she’d experienced since she last made an album (endometriosis, losing a baby, unsuccessful partnerships, gaslighting, suicide) with her usual frankness. The lead track, her single No Secrets, was released in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Later second single, the upbeat Living My Best Life, was released in May and the artist was talking to press about how she was living her best life, while all the while living with her cancer. Four weeks after she shared the news, and in the start of summer she underwent breast removal surgery.
She gives me her best “Are you kidding?” glance. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they ask, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” the singer has just had to postpone shows because she’s still waiting for cosmetic procedures.
We meet at a photo studio in the capital. She is dressed in a beige fake-leather jacket, denim trousers with detailed white appliqués, cream boots and oversized specs. Think biker chic meets 70s singer aesthetic. “As if I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the movie. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She smiles. She is quick, bold and direct. She says she has always been interested in humor and is hoping to make her standup debut soon. “I like entertaining. When performing I often tease the fans.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
She was preparing for an performance at the awards show when she noticed an abnormality. “I quickly sought to get it examined, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It appears fine; your breasts are normal.’ And I responded, ‘Yet I sense it. I’ve got an achy arm and pins and needles in my hands whenever I wake up.’ And they replied, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the post-birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The physician told her if it was bad news she’d call on the start of the week. By then the singer had convinced herself it was nothing. The way she tells it, it was inopportune to get cancer when she had many commitments.
“We’re two weeks away from launching this thing after years away and no new music. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I join the call expecting it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she says, ‘I regret to inform you but your biopsy results have shown aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She considered the operation frightening and surreal. “I dislike anesthesia. You’re escorted. In urgent cases you are wheeled, but then I just walked with a hospital gown and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been fortunate. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but however Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal a few months back and my right breast now resembles a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “The nipple was preserved.”
The next operation is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her breasts, she observes, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. So inconsiderate! I thought, no need to bully me, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so upbeat because she’s familiar with physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to highlight not to assume everything is fine. “Frankly, I feel fate says, ‘Things going well? Hold on.’ Ever since I was a child, it has always gone alongside high points for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”
She takes me back to her childhood, already making her debut starring in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was cast at the age of nine). That’s when she was told about the cardiac issue WPW, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as vertigo and heart flutters. “I rehearsed between visits on an IV drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She jumps ahead several years, and 17-year-old Jess has become part of the female band Soul Deep while enrolled in the performing arts school. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was ready to debut in the year 2020 I had a automobile accident and my larynx moved up and I couldn’t sing for a year.”
Oi, I say, slow down, I am overwhelmed. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
